To be clear: the 33rd scientifically proven, objective best album of the year is the sixteen track, sixty three minute original release of the album. That’s already way to the upper limits of how much Jack Antonoff any one human can ever hope to consume in one setting. If you’re here for the thirty one track two fucking hours ‘Anthology’ edition of this album, then I’m sorry, you are insane and I don’t know how you can do that to yourself.

I am also not going to count the 234 different editions of this fucking album that Taylor released in 2024, making sure that she greedily fleeced one of music’s most obsessive fanbases for every last penny they have. Oh! This just in! Taylor has apparently released a new version of the album called ‘The Tortured Poets Department: Capitalism’s Necessary Evil?’, which includes an extra fourteen seconds tagged onto the end of But Daddy I Love Him where Taylor just absolutely lets rip with a huge fart right into the microphone. Some people have accused Taylor of attempting to cynically manipulate the Necessary Evil 2024 countdown in the same way they’ve been manipulating sales figures and charts all year with these unlimited reissues. Well it won’t work, Swifto! I am way to savvy to be manipulated by these hideously manipulative schemes! And anyway, I can’t really afford to after spending more than a hundred quid on the Manic Street Preacher’s January album release. They do it because they appreciate our support!