Tag: Mumbles: In the Pocket of Big Sad

#39 GloRilla: Ehhthang Ehhthang

~ Lex Leeson ~ 3 Comments

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!

Get ’em Glo! First off, let me introduce her: bitch, she’s her. She’s here to tell you bitches now that y’all got her fucked up. Also, I feel it’s important to consider that, according to all available sources, the booty loose but the pussy tight. I’m pleased to hear about the tautness of Glorilla’s vagina, though I hope that she has talked to a doctor about possible vaginismus. That loose anus though, may be a serious issue, and I would seek urgent medical advice in case this rectal prolapse causes fecal incontinence. Don’t ask how I know this.

Listen, bit of a truck driver’s gear shift from the Mumbles, I know, but Necessary Evil is a wide church and all shall be considered. Anyway, it’s just science, y’know? I’m not a music critic, I’m just here to drop facts. If you want some miserably subjective whining about how good that fucking Cindy Lee album is, then there are plenty of options for you. On this blog we deal in cold hard certainties.

Amir Raafat Muhammad ‘Ayad

40 Mumbles: In the Pocket of Big Sad

~ Lex Leeson ~ 4 Comments

I’m kind of sick of this self-obsessed white guy indie-emo thing where this kind of mundane shit you pretend’s got any symbolism, or greater important to other people’s lives, rather than just some fucking tedious self-involved nothing

Poached Eggs, Chili Flakes

Manchester! Na-nanana-na! Manchester! Na-nanana-na!

I fucking hate Manchester sometimes. Most of the time, if I’m being honest. Sure I was born here* but I had little to no choice in that matter, and I live here now, but that’s only because you’re unlikely to find a better UK city experience than sleeping in a tent in St Peter;s Square while you wait to be housed by the council**.

(*well… in Ashton, which nobody in Manchester would consider Manchester, but seeing as nobody outside of Manchester has heard of or is arsed about it, let’s just call it Manchester for the benefit of this post

**and, to bring us back in, there’s a joke that nobody outside Manchester is going to get)

Manchester is special though, yeah? We do things differently, isn’t it? Something something FAC9087546 something something Coronation Street something something actually that person you’re thinking of is from Salford and we’re really inconsistent about whether we consider that a worthwhile distinction. Remember Oasis though? Remember when both the Stone Roses and The Happy Mondays were on the same episode of Top of the Pops? What do you mean you’re not even old enough to remember Top of the Pops?? I’ll have you know that British institution enabled Jimmy Saville to prey on more children than you’ve had hot dinners, and you need to show it some respect!!

Rahaf Yihya Sa’di Hassan