Tag: Mumbles:

Staturday Night Fever: The Best Music of 2024 In Numbers

~ Lex Leeson ~ Leave a comment

Have I done that pun yet? Mate, I am struggling, honestly…

So here we are again, a round up of the hot stats of the best albums and songs of 2024, which I have bizarrely fallen into the habit of doing doing eleven fucking months after the Necessary Evil list of the best albums and songs of the year is actually published. Why do I always leave it this long? Because, quite simply, after writing 40+ blog posts and a gargantuan song list in little over a month, my brain seriously doesn’t want to even acknowledge the previous year’s music again for at least a thousand years.

I almost didn’t do it this year. But – but! – then I realised that 2025’s list might have some extremely notable points! So maybe I’ll retire this dumb fucking tradition once I get round to that in winter 2026. Until then? Yeah, we gotta do this.

I do like making these purdy pictures though…

Stats in the cradle and a silver spoon

#39 GloRilla: Ehhthang Ehhthang

~ Lex Leeson ~ 3 Comments

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!

Get ’em Glo! First off, let me introduce her: bitch, she’s her. She’s here to tell you bitches now that y’all got her fucked up. Also, I feel it’s important to consider that, according to all available sources, the booty loose but the pussy tight. I’m pleased to hear about the tautness of Glorilla’s vagina, though I hope that she has talked to a doctor about possible vaginismus. That loose anus though, may be a serious issue, and I would seek urgent medical advice in case this rectal prolapse causes fecal incontinence. Don’t ask how I know this.

Listen, bit of a truck driver’s gear shift from the Mumbles, I know, but Necessary Evil is a wide church and all shall be considered. Anyway, it’s just science, y’know? I’m not a music critic, I’m just here to drop facts. If you want some miserably subjective whining about how good that fucking Cindy Lee album is, then there are plenty of options for you. On this blog we deal in cold hard certainties.

Amir Raafat Muhammad ‘Ayad

40 Mumbles: In the Pocket of Big Sad

~ Lex Leeson ~ 4 Comments

I’m kind of sick of this self-obsessed white guy indie-emo thing where this kind of mundane shit you pretend’s got any symbolism, or greater important to other people’s lives, rather than just some fucking tedious self-involved nothing

Poached Eggs, Chili Flakes

Manchester! Na-nanana-na! Manchester! Na-nanana-na!

I fucking hate Manchester sometimes. Most of the time, if I’m being honest. Sure I was born here* but I had little to no choice in that matter, and I live here now, but that’s only because you’re unlikely to find a better UK city experience than sleeping in a tent in St Peter;s Square while you wait to be housed by the council**.

(*well… in Ashton, which nobody in Manchester would consider Manchester, but seeing as nobody outside of Manchester has heard of or is arsed about it, let’s just call it Manchester for the benefit of this post

**and, to bring us back in, there’s a joke that nobody outside Manchester is going to get)

Manchester is special though, yeah? We do things differently, isn’t it? Something something FAC9087546 something something Coronation Street something something actually that person you’re thinking of is from Salford and we’re really inconsistent about whether we consider that a worthwhile distinction. Remember Oasis though? Remember when both the Stone Roses and The Happy Mondays were on the same episode of Top of the Pops? What do you mean you’re not even old enough to remember Top of the Pops?? I’ll have you know that British institution enabled Jimmy Saville to prey on more children than you’ve had hot dinners, and you need to show it some respect!!

Rahaf Yihya Sa’di Hassan