Tag: joe biden

8 Hallelujah the Hills: DECK

~ Lex Leeson ~ Leave a comment

Fucking hell, they actually did it.

In late 2022, Hallelujah the Hills announced an absolutely ludicrous idea: DECK. A 52 song project, with each song representing a playing card in a traditional… well… deck… Although it was announced in 2022, Ryan H. Walsh said that it was an idea that he first thought up the concept 20 years earlier, likely as some nonsense pie in the sky fantasy that would never likely be completed. It would be made up of four thirteen song albums, one for each suit. The diamonds suit would be the band’s a proper studio follow up to 2020’s ‘I’m You’ – the real diamonds in the rough. The club deck would be more punky and direct – clubbing you over the head, if you will. The hearts deck would be more slowed down and acoustic sad boi songs – that hit the listener straight in the heart…s. And then the deck of spades would be the project’s more experimental and looser songs – songs that… call a spade a spade…? Are influenced by David Spade…? Ah! A spade spade! For digging! So the spade suit would be the band digging into their creativity to express themselves more freely? Yeah, think that’s it.

Whatever, it doesn’t matter, this whole idea’s a fucking disaster.

Cauterizing wounds with lit cigarette

28 And So I Watch You From Afar: Jettison

~ Lex Leeson ~ Leave a comment

Put your minds back, if you will, to that wild and crazy year of 2022. We were all young fools, grooving to hip new tunes like Running Up that Hill and sending a lot of Tweets in the format “She’s a 10 but she pronounces ‘Uncut Gems’ like that“. America was still led by the 143 year old Joe Biden, as his mushed brains slowly seeped out of his ears, while the glorious UK was more ably managed by the strong and stable government of Boris Johnson and then Liz Truss and then Rishi Sunak. Oh, and, erm, A coup d’état in Burkina Faso removed Roch Kaboré from power and the prime minister of Peru, Aníbal Torres, resigned. I hate how I only ever mention politics in the UK and US as well, don’t worry. Heidi Klum dressed as a worm.

Russia invaded Ukraine, an obviously horrendously violent act that luckily the rest of the world were dedicated to end as quickly as possible in order to save untold innocent lives, and to ensure that the skyrocketing energy prices wouldn’t harm working class people worldwide for long. Russia were also banned from all international sports competitions and – most damningly – disqualified from Eurovision. That was only fair enough, as any state partaking in similarly violent actions would undoubtedly be treated the same. Nick Cave even cancelled gigs in Russia, because he is a man of strong and consistent principles. Incredibly, Will Smith slapped Chris Rock at the Oscars and the Queen died in the same fucking year!! Maybe you’re too young to remember, but the internet just could not with all that shit! We all had so much fun, that the owner’s of capital obviously couldn’t let that happen, and by the end of the year Elon Musk had bought Twitter for a laughably inflated $44 billion. Because he is, never forget and incredibly thick cunt.

I made an offer

american poetry club: do you believe in your heart?!

~ Lex Leeson ~ 1 Comment

“Yea we get sad, yeah we get lonely, yeah get scared it might go slowly, but you can always call me”

First of all:

LET ME JUST DO A BIT OF CAPITALISATION SCUMMING TO COMPENSATE FOR THAT BLOG ENTRY TITLE.

Phew, I feel better now…

New York’s american poetry club, whom you you might have notice me mention a few times, have always seemed both weirdly out of step with wider emotional leanings yet still offering completely timely sentiments. Sometimes the addition of the word ‘American’ in their name leads you to look for commentary on the wider state of their country, even if the lack of capitalisation seems to gently grasp you upper arm and say “Listen, mate, don’t break you back, yeah? It’s a lower case ‘A’, you can’t add too much weight to it. You fucking prick”. Yeah, the implied voice of american poetry club can get pretty aggressive if it wants.

Continue reading “american poetry club: do you believe in your heart?!” →

Rumble in the Bumble pt.7

~ Lex Leeson ~ 1 Comment
Previous parts

After about two weeks of pitching myself in the trenches Gig Economy Dating, I find myself a silhouette against the bright lights of bombs going off across the horizon, face unseen under a thick layer of blood, mud and- yes- semen, only my bright eyes are visible. Those eyes may as well be circular holes cut into my forehead to let the lighthouse pulse under the mess to shine through. There’s no life there. There’s barely any acknowledgement of life there. These eyes are no longer windows to any soul, they’re merely roughly carved pits reaching down into the back of my skull.

apocalypse-now-1979-001-00n-0cp-martin-sheen-with-mud-mask

It’s been rough, and I’m 90% sure that I’m likely to live out the rest my life voluntarily celibate. Is there a Volcel subreddit? I might have to start one, full of frustrated and exasperated men and women who haven’t the slightest idea what is expected of them in zero hour sexual politics, and who are desperately questioning whether the options out there are worth this senseless debasing of their self. And, yeah, we’ll probably be responsible for a few mass shootings, but that’s just because a lot of the members of our community are likely to be American, and it’s part of their culture. Don’t judge.

Continue reading “Rumble in the Bumble pt.7” →

7 Let’s Eat Grandma: I’m All Ears

~ Lex Leeson ~ 4 Comments

I have a weird, suffocating and in all definitions probably entirely sexist relationship with Let’s Eat Grandma. I feel hopelessly in love with their incredible debut, it was simultaneously insanely exploratory and captivatingly naive about where these probing songs would take it. Part of the reason I loved it so was the fact that Rosa Walton and Jenny Hollingworth were from Norwich, a city I still consider my true birth place, as it was attending university there and living there for much of my 20s that I started to recognise what kind of person I was and what sort of man I had grown into*, so I’m always extra excited to hear such astonishing music from there. But it was also the fact that Walton and Hollingworth were 16/17 year old teenage girls when they released it. Was I subconsciously belittling these two incredible artists by thinking of them as my children??

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(* I mean, the ‘man I’d grown into’ was dangerously excessive chronic depression case, with only any real love for alcohol and other brain altering tools, but at least I knew that! I, of course, got married in this period, and cheated several times because I was a fucking tool, because the more you drink the more popular you become with the opposite sex. I’m not saying this is the reason you should drink, I just think it’s only fair if you know the facts)

Continue reading “7 Let’s Eat Grandma: I’m All Ears” →