Stat is to Be Done? Necessary Evil 2025 in Numbers

Yes, a lot earlier than I’ve usually pulled my fingers and thumbs out to do these statistical breakdowns of the previous year’s Necessary Evil list of the year’s best albums. I’d fallen into the bad habit of putting it off for so long, that it now usually acts as a semi-introduction to the nexr year’s list, which is pretty fucking pointless.

And this year I have come to the realisation that, ultimately, this whole yearly tradition is pretty dang pointless. Self-referential, divisive, needlessly segregationary, and of absolutely no interest to literally anyone in the world other than myself. It gives me a chance to make fun little pictures, but that’s it.

Which is why, what is to be done, is that this will be the final time ever that I list the stats of the previous year’s list. Especially since I started the (far more important, obviously) Gold Star Artists Hall of Fame (which will get its 2025 update soon), this twee and meaningless drag on my time simply can’t justify itself. After this year’s stats, I’m going to storm the Necessary Evil Winter Palaces and change the whole system for the better.

You might remember that I threatened this on last year’s stat breakdown but decided to give it one more run around because of one important factor: I honestly think that 2025 might see the UK beat the USA for the first time, which would be a great and extremely honourable way to bow out.

Also, I’m really running out of puns for ‘Stats’. And this is two years after I did a Fatman Scoop reference. Times are tough.

You got a ten dollar bill, get your hands up!

Legit Bosses: The 118 Best Songs of 2025

WE ARE CHARLIE KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRK WE CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRY THE FLAME…!

OK, so that song is obviously number one, no surprises there, but aren’t you still interested in the songs that finished #2 – #118?

Yadda yadda yadda, absolute dog’s bollocks tracks here, you know the drill: #118 is already a fucking banger, then each track afterwards manages to be somehow even better, until we finally reveal which piece of genius is almost as good as We Are Charlie Kirk.

Slightly smaller list than last year, partially because Prince’s insane output has been cordoned off this year to stop it hurting the self-esteem of 2025’s music, and partially because I made the last minute decision to not count any songs from Hallelujah the Hills epic ‘DECK’ project, as I promise I promise I promise that I’ll rank those 54 songs seperately sometime this year. Or, at a push, definitely before 2030. Ish.

Sit back, relax, bookmark this so your next few dumps are sorted, and think about how long it must have taken me to write this fucker if you’re on your twelfth trip to the toilet reading it.

Spotify Playlist

YouTube Playlist

In us it echoes, in Christ it sustains

Necessary Evil 2025: The Ragin’ Climax

The stage curtains open, revealing 40 lovely ladies in bathing suits, wearing sashes that denote which of 2025’s greatest albums they represent, blinding the front row with quite how dazzlingly white their full toothed grins are, in danger of taking someone’s fucking eye out with quite how resplendently squeezed tight their open cleavages are.

I come out through the floor on an elevating platform, full suit and bow tie, hair slicked back and microphone in my hand:

“There she iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis, Miss Necessary Eviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil…!”

“…and I said ‘Lady, that ain’t no gear stick!!!’ Seriously though, if you don’t let me videotape me pissing on you then I’ll eject you from the competition

Considering this will be the seventeenth time that I’ve collated the Scientifically Proven Best Albums of the Year™, I’m pretty sure I know what I’m doing by this point, yeah? I had only just graduated from university when I started writing this dumb list that nobody reads, and I’ll be freaking forty two when I finish the 2025 vintage! Considering my physical health (which, in 2025, has definitely started to take on a whole ‘end of days’ start of feel), it’s looking more and more likely that I will die before I ever retire this list. Mate, I would love to stop, this is a massive pain in the arse that ruins Christmas and my birthday for me every year. But if I go, then who seriously is there to take my place?? Pitchfork?? Give me a break. Fantano?? Bald fraud. Smash Hits??? Mate, I don’t like having to break this to you, but Smash Hits Magazine shut down in 2006. To quote a far less talented (but bizarrely more feted, which is often how it goes) personality who has been able to actually retire this year: I’m still here because you can’t do your job!

the last time ISN’T now