Stat is to Be Done? Necessary Evil 2025 in Numbers

Yes, a lot earlier than I’ve usually pulled my fingers and thumbs out to do these statistical breakdowns of the previous year’s Necessary Evil list of the year’s best albums. I’d fallen into the bad habit of putting it off for so long, that it now usually acts as a semi-introduction to the nexr year’s list, which is pretty fucking pointless.

And this year I have come to the realisation that, ultimately, this whole yearly tradition is pretty dang pointless. Self-referential, divisive, needlessly segregationary, and of absolutely no interest to literally anyone in the world other than myself. It gives me a chance to make fun little pictures, but that’s it.

Which is why, what is to be done, is that this will be the final time ever that I list the stats of the previous year’s list. Especially since I started the (far more important, obviously) Gold Star Artists Hall of Fame (which will get its 2025 update soon), this twee and meaningless drag on my time simply can’t justify itself. After this year’s stats, I’m going to storm the Necessary Evil Winter Palaces and change the whole system for the better.

You might remember that I threatened this on last year’s stat breakdown but decided to give it one more run around because of one important factor: I honestly think that 2025 might see the UK beat the USA for the first time, which would be a great and extremely honourable way to bow out.

Also, I’m really running out of puns for ‘Stats’. And this is two years after I did a Fatman Scoop reference. Times are tough.

You got a ten dollar bill, get your hands up!

2 Prince: Parade

Yeah, I was completely baiting you when I said that this 1986 stone cold classic and eighth stop on our annual trawl through the most interesting back catalogue in 20th century pop might have been named the best album of 2025. It isn’t, and no Prince album on this journey ever will be named as the album of the year: While these annual lists can contain records from all kinds of points in recent and ancient musical history (this year’s list already has ancient texts dating all the way back from 2022), the #1 album always needs to have been released in the qualifying 12 month period. I’m not saying that my personal favourite ever Prince album would have been named #1 if it could, all I’m saying is that it couldn’t. It also means the competition announced on Christmas Day is still open! Nobody’s won it yet! Nobody’s entered it, admittedly, but I assume that’s because all my millions (and millions!) of readers are still just thinking really hard about it.

By 1986, it had essentially always been Prince and The Revolution. Ever since Prince needed a backing band to tour his recently released (and completely self-composed) debut album in 1979, that group (Dez Dickerson on guitar and backing vocals, Andre Cymone on bass guitar, Bobby Z on drums and percussion, Gayle Chapman on keyboards and, obviously, Matt “Dr.” Fink on keyboards) may not have had an official name yet, but they were the first building blocks of what would soon become by far and away Prince’s greatest ever collaborators. When Gayle Champman was replaced by  Lisa Coleman in 1980 and Brown Mark replaced Andre Cymone the year after, this thrillingly tight and unbelievably exciting live band were considered at least enough of a part of the Prince package to be given… a hidden backwards credit on the ‘1999‘ album cover.

Goodness will guide us if love is inside us?

28 And So I Watch You From Afar: Jettison

Put your minds back, if you will, to that wild and crazy year of 2022. We were all young fools, grooving to hip new tunes like Running Up that Hill and sending a lot of Tweets in the format “She’s a 10 but she pronounces ‘Uncut Gems’ like that“. America was still led by the 143 year old Joe Biden, as his mushed brains slowly seeped out of his ears, while the glorious UK was more ably managed by the strong and stable government of Boris Johnson and then Liz Truss and then Rishi Sunak. Oh, and, erm, A coup d’état in Burkina Faso removed Roch Kaboré from power and the prime minister of Peru, Aníbal Torres, resigned. I hate how I only ever mention politics in the UK and US as well, don’t worry. Heidi Klum dressed as a worm.

Russia invaded Ukraine, an obviously horrendously violent act that luckily the rest of the world were dedicated to end as quickly as possible in order to save untold innocent lives, and to ensure that the skyrocketing energy prices wouldn’t harm working class people worldwide for long. Russia were also banned from all international sports competitions and – most damningly – disqualified from Eurovision. That was only fair enough, as any state partaking in similarly violent actions would undoubtedly be treated the same. Nick Cave even cancelled gigs in Russia, because he is a man of strong and consistent principles. Incredibly, Will Smith slapped Chris Rock at the Oscars and the Queen died in the same fucking year!! Maybe you’re too young to remember, but the internet just could not with all that shit! We all had so much fun, that the owner’s of capital obviously couldn’t let that happen, and by the end of the year Elon Musk had bought Twitter for a laughably inflated $44 billion. Because he is, never forget and incredibly thick cunt.

I made an offer