Tag: Allie X

Staturday Night Fever: The Best Music of 2024 In Numbers

~ Lex Leeson ~ Leave a comment

Have I done that pun yet? Mate, I am struggling, honestly…

So here we are again, a round up of the hot stats of the best albums and songs of 2024, which I have bizarrely fallen into the habit of doing doing eleven fucking months after the Necessary Evil list of the best albums and songs of the year is actually published. Why do I always leave it this long? Because, quite simply, after writing 40+ blog posts and a gargantuan song list in little over a month, my brain seriously doesn’t want to even acknowledge the previous year’s music again for at least a thousand years.

I almost didn’t do it this year. But – but! – then I realised that 2025’s list might have some extremely notable points! So maybe I’ll retire this dumb fucking tradition once I get round to that in winter 2026. Until then? Yeah, we gotta do this.

I do like making these purdy pictures though…

Stats in the cradle and a silver spoon

Legit Bosses: The 143 Best Songs of 2024

~ Lex Leeson ~ 5 Comments

Hey, look, I’m getting better at this. Recently, I went on a massive cull of the 2024’s greatest songs to make this list as tight and as concise as possible, so that it would be sure to represent the absolute best of the best and would be as brief and easy to write as possible. And look! There are only one hundred and forty three tracks this year!! That’s a whole seventeen less tracks than last year! This post is going to be a breeze!

spoiler: this song is going top five. It INVENTED GAY POP, show some respect

OK, three weeks laternow, and I’m almost done! This post will be longer than most books you read, but to be fair most of the ‘books’ you read are Dr Who fanfic.

So, yeah, these songs are really good. And they get better as the list goes on. That’s how these lists work.

Here’s the YouTube playlist, which I know is the only thing most of you care about.

How much of an intro do you need, seriously?

A/79/232

#7 Young Jesus: The Fool

~ Lex Leeson ~ Leave a comment

God damn it…

Yeah, I was insanely sick the past couple of days. It started when a toothache started to really make itself very noticeable while I was writing my JPEGMAFIA piece on Thursday. I phoned up the emergency dentist and made an appointment for the next day, for the second time in the past ten days. “But Alex”, I hear you cry, “Why aren’t you registered to a regular dentist? Or why haven’t you even gone to the dentist in the previous decade??”. To which I reply: shut up, mum! Anyway, soon after I made that appointment, my toothache became unbearable. Paracetamols were no good, I’m apparently not supposed to take ibuprofen because of my ulcerative colitis, so I was running out of options. Until I remembered that I used to be prescribed codeine! I rooted through all my old medications until I found a pack, and then munched down about a thousand of them! This kinda sorted out my toothache, but at the same time fucked me over in every other sense. The next day, I could barely get out of bed, cancelled my Chinese class in the morning, and honestly tried to write this fucking post, but my head felt like all my brain synapses had been placed inside an oil drum that had been violently kicked off the top of the K2. The effort it took to exist yesterday was already unbearable, never mind write this dumb list that nobody reads.

Which is a shame, considering that this is the only album on the list so far that actually has a song on it written about me. No, honestly, it does. Yeah, I know that sounds crazy, but it’s not, don’t put in the paper that I got crazy.

Hala Yasser Hamed Al-Sinnwa

#13 Allie X: Girl With No Face

~ Lex Leeson ~ 2 Comments

Stubborn Aphrodite
You got me in the tits
I thought I was an alien
Found out I was a twit
My body is a prison
But how can I escape?
Doesn’t matter what I do
I’m filled up with a hate

Go take the piss
I’m flat with a wit
Not soft full of shit
Now off with her tits
Off with her tits
Off with her tits
Off with her tits

Off With Her Tits

Now, there’s obviously something very striking about those lyrics, isn’t there? Something that would immediately make polite society raise their eyebrows in shock and the cool hip young dudes like yourself and I nod our heads in approval at such colloquialism usage detailing the consideration of intrusive thoughts. I’d actually go as far as to call the lyrical flourish absolutely unique. No, seriously, can you think of one other song that uses the slang word ‘twit’?? That’s some real Desperate Dan era swearing! Canadians, man, respect due.

I’m joking, of course! Allie X is using a bit of humour to reflect a serious issue, then here’s here using a bit of humour to highlight that reflection of a serious issue. If you want to write a piece on this blog post, using humour to report on me using humour to highlight Allie X’s use of humour to reflect a serious issue, then we can keep this chain going. In fact, if you don’t forward this message to at least ten friends then you will have bad luck forever. Also, I will have sex with your mother.

Habiba Hesham Hassan Abu-Jarri