Tag: 2024

#7 Young Jesus: The Fool

~ Lex Leeson ~ Leave a comment

God damn it…

Yeah, I was insanely sick the past couple of days. It started when a toothache started to really make itself very noticeable while I was writing my JPEGMAFIA piece on Thursday. I phoned up the emergency dentist and made an appointment for the next day, for the second time in the past ten days. “But Alex”, I hear you cry, “Why aren’t you registered to a regular dentist? Or why haven’t you even gone to the dentist in the previous decade??”. To which I reply: shut up, mum! Anyway, soon after I made that appointment, my toothache became unbearable. Paracetamols were no good, I’m apparently not supposed to take ibuprofen because of my ulcerative colitis, so I was running out of options. Until I remembered that I used to be prescribed codeine! I rooted through all my old medications until I found a pack, and then munched down about a thousand of them! This kinda sorted out my toothache, but at the same time fucked me over in every other sense. The next day, I could barely get out of bed, cancelled my Chinese class in the morning, and honestly tried to write this fucking post, but my head felt like all my brain synapses had been placed inside an oil drum that had been violently kicked off the top of the K2. The effort it took to exist yesterday was already unbearable, never mind write this dumb list that nobody reads.

Which is a shame, considering that this is the only album on the list so far that actually has a song on it written about me. No, honestly, it does. Yeah, I know that sounds crazy, but it’s not, don’t put in the paper that I got crazy.

Hala Yasser Hamed Al-Sinnwa

#8 JPEGMAFIA: I LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR YOU

~ Lex Leeson ~ 1 Comment

Ebrahim Raisi in the heli’, feelin’ foggy
Money, money, money, it made me feel like I’m targeted
Blowing up like I’m IDF, Netty warrants ain’t stoppin’ shit
Is you Harvey, Jeffrey, R. Kelly, or is you opposite?
Say that shit, say that shit
Say that shit, say that shit

Exmilitary

Despite the arrest warrants, the IDF is likely to keep getting away with its atrocious horrors while they still have support of the world’s most powerful people, similar to Harvey Weinstein, Jeffery Epstein and R Kelly. Maybe that should be the last word on the Gaza Genocide?

Except it obviously isn’t going to be – wait until you see what album is in 5th place!

Nisreen Mohammed Mohammed Al-Najjar

#9 The Smile: Wall of Eyes

~ Lex Leeson ~ 5 Comments

The kind of dialogue that they want to engage in is one that’s black or white. I have a problem with that. It’s deeply distressing that they choose to, rather than engage with us personally, throw shit at us in public. It’s deeply disrespectful to assume that we’re either being misinformed or that we’re so retarded we can’t make these decisions ourselves. I thought it was patronizing in the extreme.

Thom Yorke explains their stance on Israel to Rolling Stone 2017/06/02

Strap yourself iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!!!

Apart from the Joe Biden and the Neonazis, few people have as long and as enduring an affection for the state of Israel as the fellas from that there Radiohead. And I can kinda appreciate their reasoning, at least more than I can Nick Cave’s pathetic fanboy “OMG! This is the bar where Jesus shot Gredo first!” or whatever the fuck. It’s even arguable whether, without Israel, Radiohead would have even made it to a second album after the ridiculously of-its-time posh boy grunge karaoke of their debut.

Alaa Murad Ali Binat

#10 serpentwithfeet: GRIP

~ Lex Leeson ~ 2 Comments

Hold you closer, closer than those damn gloves
Kiss you longer, longer than a opera
If we keep on dancin’, we gon’ make love
Hold you closer, closer than those damn gloves
I don’t need no weed, I don’t need no liquor
I just wanna keep grind-grindin’ on my nigga
Whatever’s on his leg, good God, it’s gettin’ thicker
It’s gettin’ thicker

Damn Gloves

Whatever happened to shame? Remember when people had shame? I miss that. We need to bring shame back ASAP. Hey, you know that depraved, ugly thought that you have in your head? Keep it there. The whole world doesn’t need to know about your perversions. Nobody needs to know. Maybe your therapist, but otherwise you should be rightly overwhelmingly ashamed of these dark, sexual thoughts inside your mind.

Remember when you met people in person? Remember when there was a place to go that wasn’t home or work? Remember what it was like when you had, like, four people together, talking face to face? Imagine if one of the people you were with looked you dead in the eye, did not even blink as they took one last sip from their pint, and then loudly and proudly that they believed that all men should want to impregnate 12-14 year old girls because that’s when they’re most fertile. That just wouldn’t happen. Every person would be too ashamed to air these horrendous intrusive thoughts in public, even among friends. And yet @not_reece_brah is confident airing these insane perversions to more than fifty thousand people. Plus it’s on this blog now, so you can add another six or seven people to that.

Mohannad Ahmed Jumaa Azzam

#12 James Blake & Lil Yachty: Bad Cameo

~ Lex Leeson ~ 1 Comment

Nigga, I told him it’s all mine, no ifs, ands, or buts (oh)
I told my agent I wanna be treated just like a slut (oh)
Pay me directly after (oh)
Close the book with a folded page to keep the chapter (oh)
Told Grandma how much my chain cost, look like I slapped her (oh, mm)

Did a couple roles but in my raps, I’m not an actor (oh)
My B.M. ex a straggler, she happy that I saved her
My mama in a castle (oh), I love her, so we neighbors (yeah)
My sister cook with flavour (mwah), it’s sweet, but didn’t savor (oh)
He had a sack, then wavered (oh), my ex think I’m a player (mm)
My homies think I’m player (mm)

Save the Savior

Maysaa Deeb Mahmoud Al-Skafi

#13 Allie X: Girl With No Face

~ Lex Leeson ~ 2 Comments

Stubborn Aphrodite
You got me in the tits
I thought I was an alien
Found out I was a twit
My body is a prison
But how can I escape?
Doesn’t matter what I do
I’m filled up with a hate

Go take the piss
I’m flat with a wit
Not soft full of shit
Now off with her tits
Off with her tits
Off with her tits
Off with her tits

Off With Her Tits

Now, there’s obviously something very striking about those lyrics, isn’t there? Something that would immediately make polite society raise their eyebrows in shock and the cool hip young dudes like yourself and I nod our heads in approval at such colloquialism usage detailing the consideration of intrusive thoughts. I’d actually go as far as to call the lyrical flourish absolutely unique. No, seriously, can you think of one other song that uses the slang word ‘twit’?? That’s some real Desperate Dan era swearing! Canadians, man, respect due.

I’m joking, of course! Allie X is using a bit of humour to reflect a serious issue, then here’s here using a bit of humour to highlight that reflection of a serious issue. If you want to write a piece on this blog post, using humour to report on me using humour to highlight Allie X’s use of humour to reflect a serious issue, then we can keep this chain going. In fact, if you don’t forward this message to at least ten friends then you will have bad luck forever. Also, I will have sex with your mother.

Habiba Hesham Hassan Abu-Jarri

#14 Les Savy Fav: OUI, LSF

~ Lex Leeson ~ 1 Comment

I’m turning 50 soon. The last time we recorded something as Les Savy Fav, I was about 40. Around that time, I had a serious mental health crisis – I got diagnosed with bipolar and had been manic for a long time, then went very depressed. Getting out of that took a couple of years and was really dramatic for me and my family. I’ve always identified with a Peter Pan type universe, so I was trying to figure out how to square the person you see on stage, which is core to who I am, with the person that wants to be able to afford pants…

I then got laid off from my job and that was super stressful. Turns out I hated that job. I hadn’t really thought about it, but all of a sudden I realised I had spent so much energy annoyed by this thing, that when it went away, it was like clarity. I was writing music, I was writing lyrics, and it wasn’t just because I had more free time. It was about mental space and realising how much energy it takes to grind an axe. I think that’s where so many people get stuck.

Frontman Tim Harrington briefly lets Crack Magazine what he’s been up to for the past 14 years, 24.02.16

Les Savy motherfucking Sav, bitches!

Les Savy Fav last made this list when they were ranked number seven in 2007, on the oldest of these lists that I’ve ever been able to track down and post online. Anthony Kliedis’s girlfriend wasn’t even born when this band last (and first) made the Necessary Evil countdown. And even seventeen years ago, I was laughably late to the party. Gimme a break though: I was a married, fuckable 23 year old with a social life, easy access to drugs, and functioning alcoholism, so I was kinda busy, yeah?? LSF had been a going concern since 1995 and had released their debut single in 1997. Those who knew about them were instant converts – here’s a Pitchfork piece from 1998 describing the band playing to a one person crowd and the writer still being won over – but for the first decade or so of their career despite inspiring devotion from those lucky enough to experience them, even freaking Jesus had more disciples than these guys. Yeah, I realise that Jesus is a pretty big deal these days, but to have only twelve disciples in his own lifetime is pretty pathetic, guy just wasn’t a draw. I’m not denying Jesus’s influence! Just that he was more like the Velvet Underground: only twelve people followed him at the time but each one wrote a book about him.

Baraa Mohamed Fawzi Shaldan

#15 Efficax: DESTRUCTION

~ Lex Leeson ~ 1 Comment

What more is there to say about the astonishing ‘Destruction’?

Oh no! I Googled ‘Destruction’ and it just came up with loads of stats from the Gaza genocide! That’s embarrassing! Innocent mistake though, hope you understand. I promise that I won’t mention the continued and UK sponsored slaughter happening right now in Gaza anymore on this list, I promise. And that photo will already be dated tomorrow, when the death count will likely have risen by a few hundred. What was I thinking posting it there completely accidentally??

Kenan Shadi Hashem Mushtaha

#16 Magdalena Bay: Imaginal Disk

~ Lex Leeson ~ Leave a comment

Too much watching TV
It’s gonna rot you from the inside out
If you wanna reach me
Just leave a message and we’ll work it out

…

If you wanna be clean
You gotta scrub until blood comes out
Get the spots in between
Slip your skin right off and hang it out

Watching TV

It’s another concept album, kids!

I told you, there’s a lot of them this year! Remember a few years ago when you weren’t even sure if you’d ever seen an Archie’s before, and now you can’t fucking move ten metres without seeing another one of the cunts? Well, that’s concept albums on Necessary Evil! Wait, do they have Archie’s in other places other than Manchester? And if they do, are there also a comparable amount of the cunts? Whatever, I will not be censored, I’m not going to lessen my artistic ambitions just to pander to the idiots who live in dumb places.

Misk Yusuf Zuhair Al-Qanousi

#17 Lava La Rue: Starface

~ Lex Leeson ~ 3 Comments

It’s another concept album, kids!

And it’s a pretty great concept, not gonna NGL. A “Lesbian Ziggy Stardust”, as Lava themselves has christened it. ‘Starface’ is the name of a genderfluid alien who crash lands on Earth, puts their best human skin on, discovers that we humans are into some freaky-deaky shit, there’s some big battle which isn’t fully explained, Starface then falls in love in a brave show of support for inter-species relations (would have preferred it if they started fucking a walrus or something, but a human is alright, I guess), is dismayed by the fact that some people are on drugs, and ends the tale by (spoiler) debating whether they should return to their planet.

Malak Saher Nasr Abu-Sahlool