Tag: 2024 best albums

#29 Future Islands: People Who Aren’t There Anymore

~ Lex Leeson ~ 2 Comments

I, I, I am waiting on the other side, sigh
Looked out into everything and I lie
Tell myself it’s nothing, when it’s quite right
Everything grows, everything grows

I, I, I am watching, I am waiting
I, I, I am waiting, I’m not breaking
I lie, tell myself it’s okay, when it’s not quite
Everything grows stronger in the light

The Tower

‘People Who Aren’t There Anymore’?? Sounds like Twitter these days, ammi right?? Aaaaaaaaah, hahahaha.

So we’re all supposed to go to Bluesky now. The US election (which I’ll get back to talking about later on this countdown) was the final straw for millions of people, where Elon Musk became one of the biggest examples of someone taking their divorce so badly that they ushered in fascism since Benito Mussolini fractious split with Jelena Lewitzki in the early 1920s. Musk had already spent the previous couple of years laughably and repeatedly showing his pasty weird shaped arse to the world since buying the company – which had never really previously made a profit – for a hilariously and stupidly inflated $44 million, and this new exodus is just the latest rat to scurry off a ship being absolutely tanked by its owner’s incompetence. Elon still has his admirers among the clinically stupid, but that just shows you how, if you’re brought up to be a bootlicker, no amount of evidence is going to convince you that a significantly richer person isn’t naturally better than you and deserves to be admired.

Noura Walid Abdulsalam Shaheen

#30 The Bronzed Chorus: Aki

~ Lex Leeson ~ 4 Comments

OK, reality nerds, I admit: this album was actually released first released in June 2023. I was first introduced to this art rock masterwork when rounding up Seth Manchester’s 2023 records, and was so blown away that I cheekily decided to consider it for the 2024 list. Or, to quote: “holy shit, the Big Beat impact of ‘Aki’ by The Bronzed Chorus on June 9th?? I love that shit, it’s also on NE2024″. I also decided to consider records by Asher White, Jaye Jayle, and Oxbow, which were all pretty great records but didn’t quite make this increasingly elite list. One other album… maybe did… No spoilers.

The Bronzed Chorus, Adam Joyce (L), Brennen O’Brien

But The Bronzed Chorus, man, they made a 2023 album so good that it’s the scientifically proven, objective thirtieth best album of 2024. That’s quite a flex.

The problem is… I have next to no idea who this band are…

Jamil Najm a-Din Jamil Nijem

#31 Beyoncé: Cowboy Carter

~ Lex Leeson ~ 4 Comments

Looka there, liquor in my hand
The grandbaby of a moonshine man
Gadsden, Alabama
Got folk down Gavelston, rooted in Louisiana
They used to say I spoke too country
Then the rejection came, said I wasn’t country ‘nough
Said I wouldn’t saddle up, but
If that ain’t country, tell me, what is?

American Requiem

I’m going to say this right out the bat, less you start reading this under false expectations: I do not give one shiny shit about what fucking genre of music you say you’re a part of. This is Beyoncé’s country album. Is it real country though?? Well, she’s wearing a cowboy hat on the cover and she mentions whiskey a lot. The title of the album has the word ‘cowboy’ in it, for fuck’s FFS! What more do you people want??

“Pew pew pew!”

Listen, do you know which comedy series now holds the record for most Emmy wins? The fucking Bear! Have you seen that show? It’s 30 minutes of stressed Catholic Americans shouting “BEHIND!” at each other and having emotional breakdowns to the soundtrack of 90’s REM songs. I think that show has had about two jokes in its entire run so far. Well, ‘Cowboy Carter’ features Willie Nelson, Dolly Parton and Miley Cyrus – literally the only three country singers I could name and the three undisputed geniuses of the genre – so by my maths it’s at least 50% more of a country album that The fucking Bear is a comedy show. Case closed, move on everyone.

‘Abd a-Rahman Mahmoud ‘Abd al-Fatah ‘Abd a-Nabi

#32 Lupe Fiasco: Samurai

~ Lex Leeson ~ 4 Comments

I got these

Really neat (Really neat, really neat)

Very beautifully

Alliterated

Little battle raps for you

Samurai

OK, so mark it down: this is the first album that I’ve come to so far that I’ve rated way too low. This album’s fucking mega! And thirty-fucking-second?? Geddafuggardahere! Trust me, there are some stinkers lower down on this list.

Well… not stinkers, but… y’know…

‘Cowboy Carter’ is still to come? Geddafuggardahere!

I have to say, ‘concept albums’ give me a bit of an ick. If you’re going to go all in, dress up a smurfs, sing all the lyrics in n’avi, and get James Cameron to pilot you to the bottom of the ocean to record the whole album in one whole live take before the deep ocean pressure causes the submarine to explode, killing everyone on board, instantly, that I can respect. Like, I don’t even know what ‘concept’ you’re going for there, and I guess it’s a shame you didn’t survive to edit the Genius entry, but by gahd I respect the dedication!

Mayar Jamal Jaber Abu Musbih

#34 Taylor Swift: The Tortured Poets Department

~ Lex Leeson ~ 2 Comments

To be clear: the 33rd scientifically proven, objective best album of the year is the sixteen track, sixty three minute original release of the album. That’s already way to the upper limits of how much Jack Antonoff any one human can ever hope to consume in one setting. If you’re here for the thirty one track two fucking hours ‘Anthology’ edition of this album, then I’m sorry, you are insane and I don’t know how you can do that to yourself.

I am also not going to count the 234 different editions of this fucking album that Taylor released in 2024, making sure that she greedily fleeced one of music’s most obsessive fanbases for every last penny they have. Oh! This just in! Taylor has apparently released a new version of the album called ‘The Tortured Poets Department: Capitalism’s Necessary Evil?’, which includes an extra fourteen seconds tagged onto the end of But Daddy I Love Him where Taylor just absolutely lets rip with a huge fart right into the microphone. Some people have accused Taylor of attempting to cynically manipulate the Necessary Evil 2024 countdown in the same way they’ve been manipulating sales figures and charts all year with these unlimited reissues. Well it won’t work, Swifto! I am way to savvy to be manipulated by these hideously manipulative schemes! And anyway, I can’t really afford to after spending more than a hundred quid on the Manic Street Preacher’s January album release. They do it because they appreciate our support!

Ziad Tareq Ziad a-Rifi

#35 And So I Watch You From Afar: Megafauna

~ Lex Leeson ~ 2 Comments

First, before I talk about the latest euphoric audio assault by Belfast’s finest noise merchant, I’d like to take a moment out of 2024’s Necessary Evil to just pay our respects to the beautiful, talented and influential megafauna that we’ve lost these past two million years or so.

These good megafaunas have had a tough time recently, with 80% of all mammals that weigh greater than a thousand kilograms dying off in the last fifty thousand years. Pour one out for our fatty bombatty brothers. Yeah, we still mostly have our elephants and our rhinos and our elephant seals. And our motherfucking bisons, boy!! Have you seen a bison?? I don’t think we’re ready to accept how huge those big boys are! I’m not counting the big fishes, like the blue whale, because they’re always hiding down there, I’ve never seen one in a zoo, and fish are boring. But I think we have to accept that we have sadly lost the best and brightest megafauna. We’ve lost all the dinosaurs, for fuck’s sake!? That’s nuts! And, if we’re being honest, we lost a lot of Earth’s stability when the dinosaurs went: ain’t no genocide in Gaza if Deir al Balah is partially populated by motherfucking titanosaurs!! Oh, what’s that, America? You want to aggressively and violently suppress the world until it accepts your neoliberal world order? Well, try telling that to the giganotosaurus, yeah? The ichthyosaur will fucking eat all your submarines, son! However, like I said before, fish are boring.

Anyway, heads bowed, please:

Hadi Hayel Shehdeh Abu Dahruj

#36 Caroline Shaw and Sō Percussion: Rectangles and Circumstance

~ Lex Leeson ~ Leave a comment

Place in pets.

Night town.

Night town a glass.

Color mahogany.

Color mahogany center.

Rose is a rose is a rose is a rose.

Loveliness extreme.

Extra gaiters.

Loveliness extreme.

Sweetest ice-cream.

Page ages page ages page ages.

Wiped Wiped wire wire.

Sweeter than peaches
and pears and cream.

Wiped wire wiped wire.

Extra extreme.

Put measure treasure.

Measure treasure.

Tables track.

Nursed.

Dough.

That will do.

Gertrude Stein: ‘Sacred Emily’

Did you know Pablo Picasso once did a painting of Gertrude Stein?? That’s some real multiverse of madness shit. I understand that, back in 1906, Picasso was some 25 year old loser that wasn’t much of a draw at all – if you’ll excuse the pun – and Gertrude Stein was just some rich American who was shamelessly culturally appropriating the European art scene, so such a collaboration wasn’t exactly putting butts in seats back then. But Pablo Picasso and Gertrude Stein doing a team up in 2024?? That’s doing business! Box office numbers, and they doing outstanding! Running outta space in their damn bandwagon! Shame that Picasso died from pulmonary edema in 1973. That seems late for Pablo fucking Picasso, doesn’t it? He would have watched the 1970 World Cup. He wasn’t just alive to remember The Beatles, he saw their entire career! He was alive for seven James Bond movies! He only missed the eight, ‘Live and Let Die’, by a couple of months, so never got to experience Roger Moore’s take on the character, which I think we can all agree is the saddest thing about his death. Gertrude Stein though, died in the 1940’s, which seems like a very appropriate era for someone like Gertrude Stein to die. I know what you’re thinking: 1940’s? An extremely notable Jewish figure? I’m pretty sure I know what this is going to be in relation to!

Ahmad Yasser Sabri Abu ‘Abed

#37 The Smile: Cutouts

~ Lex Leeson ~ 3 Comments

In case anyone was wondering whether I still had these meme:

Been using that for more than seven years now, and yet it is as appropriate now as it ever was. More so, when you think about it. And, yes, I could technically edit it to make it more appropriate for the band The Smile, but I don’t believe in such Stalinesque historical revisionism. If we don’t learn from our history, we are doomed to repeat it. And I really want to continue posting this meme, so I refuse to learn from it.

By the way, I am so ready to write a long post debating the nuances and the propaganda surrounding Josef Stalin! Isn’t it quite ironic how perhaps the 20th century’s biggest victim of historical revisionism has been Uncle Joe himself??

Muhammad ‘Issam Mustafa Judah

#38 Waxahatchee: Tigers Blood

~ Lex Leeson ~ 1 Comment

What even is Waxahatchee now?

Katie Crutchfield is extraordinarily talented, don’t get me wrong. Whatever I ever say about them or the music they make, I never want the fact that they are ridiculously good at their job to be forgotten. Their songwriting skill is absolutely impeachable, I don’t think they’ve ever put their name to a song you’d rank below 6/10, they’re an obvious mentality monster whose mastery of their craft now has eight albums (plus other stuff. It’s hard to work out what counts) worth of hard evidence. She’s very good.

But what are they?

Bayan Muhammad Kamel Abu Khamash