Category: 2025NE

18 Disiniblud (Rachika Nayar & Nina Keith): Disiniblud

~ Lex Leeson ~ 1 Comment

It’s pronounced Disney-blood!! And look at that little dude on the cover!!! ‘NeverEnding Story‘ coded and I am fucking here for it!!!!

that wink is rather salacious and I’m not sure if I like it

Although – and I hate to be pedantic about this – but as we all know ‘NeverEnding Story’ was actually a Warner Brothers property, so how does that fit into the whole Disiniblud (pronounced Disney-blood!!!!) thing? Actually, I’m not sure, do Disney own Warner Brothers now? I know that everything that has ever existed in any medium is now owned by either Disney or Netflix, so flip a coin I guess.

[as is most (bimbo it out)]

19 FKA Twigs: EUSEXUA Afterglow

~ Lex Leeson ~ 2 Comments

OK, so how am I going to approach this? You know I really hate spoiling my own list, so I’d hate to perhaps let it slip during this post that maybe there’s another FKA Twigs album later on this year’s countdown. Maybe! Nothing in this introductory paragraph should be read as any sort of confirmation!! But you also know what a genuine and straight talking man of the people I am, and it simply wouldn’t be in my nature to lie to my wonderful readers that I love so much, and say that a certain album isn’t going to be featured… Or lie and say that it will feature!! Nothing in this introductory paragraph should be read as any sort of confirmation!!! People are calling me the most trusted voice in music. Everyone’s saying it. Sports Illustrated are saying it. I can’t abuse that trust.

I guess, all things considered, I’m probably better off just not mentioning that other album at all. That hypothetical other album I mean!! Nothing in this second paragraph should be read as any sort of confirmation of the existence of any other album!!!! That probably makes the most sense. I mean, it’s not going to be easy, considering that that hypothetical album is named in the title of this one, but hey, let’s give it a go, aye?

Continue reading “19 FKA Twigs: EUSEXUA Afterglow” →

20 Alan Sparhawk: With Trampled by Turtles

~ Lex Leeson ~ Leave a comment

OK, can we first talk about that title? I’ve mostly seen it referred to as being an album called ‘With Trampled by Turtles’ released by your friend and mine Alan Sparhawk. Though I’ve often also seen the album title itself being just called ‘Alan Sparhawk With Trampled by Turtles‘. Which is fine. But which artist released this ‘Alan Sparhawk With Trampled by Turtles‘ album of which you speak? Why, that would be Alan Sparhawk and also Trampled by Turtles

you’re never too old to post thirst traps

OK, so bear with me here, explain it to me like I’m a four year old child: we’re at the twentieth best album of the year, and you want me to write that it’s Alan Sparhawk and Trumpled by Turtles: ‘Alan Sparhawk With Trampled by Turtles’?? Absolutely not, how much word count do you think they give me for these titles?! Anyway, I like the idea of the very title of the record being that of the supporting artist, it really sells just how central they are to the record’s sound. Trust me, we’re going to have similar issues with the #17 entry #ReaderRetention.

Don’t take your light out of me, Oh my god, please

21 Moonchild Sanelly: Full Moon

~ Lex Leeson ~ 2 Comments

I’m a walking billboard, bunny
And I make a lot of money
Yeah, I make a lot of money
And that’s on period, honey
It’s all the travels, bunny
And chasing summer’s money
I do not flex, my darling
I’m stating facts, don’t worry

I got God-given cushion
And some God-given pushing
It’s your God-given duty
To appreciate my booty
I, I, I got God-given cushion
And some God-given pushing
It’s your God-given duty
To appreciate my booty

Scrambled Eggs

I was going to do a bit of an introduction for the readers with such spiritually impoverished lives as to not be aware of Moonchild Sanelly, but the opening track from ‘Full Moon’ pretty much sums it up. She’s speaks truths and is very successful doing so, and also has a natural talent (her bum) of which it is your God-given duty to appreciate.

Not enough? I can go as far as her preferred diet if you want:

You’re in pain, bitch , ‘Cause I’m paid, bitch

22 Little Simz: Lotus

~ Lex Leeson ~ 1 Comment

Simbiatu Ajikawo’s fifth appearance on The Only List That Matters™. Notable that she’s chosen to record this one with a different producer than Inflo, who has produced her last three albums to great critical acclaim. We’ll perhaps never know Simz’s underlying reason for choosing to switch up her sound at this point in her career…

Ah. Yeah that’ll be it.

I really feel sorry for your wife

23 Wednesday: Bleeds

~ Lex Leeson ~ 2 Comments

We dated for six years; we were best friends; we watched each other grow up. We had broken up a month ago. I’m poking roadkill with a stick. Making it twitch.

Karly Hartzman in as essay in Vulture 25.10.08

Yeah, all you voyeuristic lovers of Fleetwood Mac style inter-band drama will love how singer Hartzman broke up with guitarist Jake “MJ” Lenderman during the making of this album. I’m not going to write about that, because I don’t know these freaks and I don’t want to speculate on what sordid, perverse shit that these big celebrities are into. Yet, if Jake Lenderman wrote a Tweet ten years ago that I really objected to, I’d probably get a good 2k words complaining about it? I’m difficult to predict, I’ll accept that.

(L-R) Jake Lenderman, Karly Hartzman

Hey, hey, hey! I didn’t post that photo to make a cruel joke! I have never made a cruel joke on this website, and don’t intend to start now! I have never made any joke! I take all of this far too seriously! If you’ve ever found anything on this website amusing, then that was entirely unintended, and what you’re actually doing is laughing at me struggling with my evidentially moribund mental capacity. So, way to be ableist, jerk.

In a bottle spit dip and tell dirty jokes

24 No Joy: Bugland

~ Lex Leeson ~ 1 Comment

Shit, I just did a big State Of The Genre Address concerning IDM in my Ninajirachi review, didn’t I? I was kinda planning to do a similar takedown to fucking Shoegaze in this review, but now I worry about repeating myself. Because I am an artist who is constantly re-evaluating my craft. If I was putting the Necessary Evil countdown into the Necessary Evil countdown it would come out on top every fucking year. This list is basically my annual check of my artistic competition, and I always find them lacking. But I nonetheless appreciate their efforts.

I wrote a song for you And all the things you do

26 Wet Leg: moisturizer (sic)

~ Lex Leeson ~ 3 Comments

What the actual fuck? You’re from the fucking Isle of Wight! What’s this rogue ‘Z’ doing in the album title?? Moisturiser, please! What would King Arwald say, the last pagan king in England and last king of the Isle of Wight? You really think that’s going to break you in America??

Actually… top 50 album in the US…? That’s… not to be sniffed at at all…

OK, carry on, you obviously all know what you’re doing.

You wanna fuck me, I know, most people do

27 Clipse: Let God Sort Em Out

~ Lex Leeson ~ 2 Comments

This is culturally inappropriate.

Wow. I am so impressed. This is quite an astonishing achievement after all this time. It’s actually really refreshing and – dare I say it? – inspirational for someone so long in the game still able to surprise us. The fact that I – Alexander Franchise-Palmer – can still highly rate this album despite the very public feuds that Pusha T and I have had in the past, is an incredible show of maturity and commitment to my unbiased reporting. Maybe there’s still hope left for us all?

“a website”: I have a name, you know??

And by showing how I’m actually the bigger man and appreciating how some things in life are some important than silly little rap beefs (which Pusha’s and mine most definitely was), this all kind of means that I won the feud, doesn’t it?

So, erm, yeah, suck it, Pusha T, choke on my hairy balls.

you were checkin’ boxes, I was checkin’ my mentions