Author: Lex Leeson

Unrecognised genius, or maybe pathetic pleas for validation, or perhaps even both

10 Cleo Reed: Cuntry

~ Lex Leeson ~ Leave a comment

Oh, wow, white collar crimes on the company dime
Couldn’t catch a break on company time
Life on the clock’s like, eating with your eyes
Might find God, and go for a hike
More brown liquor, I chase my pain
I’m bitter by the hour, I state my claims
I’m hanging by a nail, my body’s on a scale
And work is really jail

The grass ain’t greener and the fare ain’t cheap
Give me salt and lime in the land of the free
Hate is in the air, getting harder to breathe

Salt and Lime

Ah man, I’m gonna be talking about slavery again??

Here in the UK, we hear a lot about America’s role in the slave trade. We hear a lot the perhaps most brutal and masochistic period in human history. We hear how a total of 12.5 million human beings were stolen from Africa and shipped over the the ‘New World’ in conditions not suitable for factory farmed hens. We hear how around two million simply died on the journey on account of the horrendous conditions that they were forced to live in. They might have been the lucky ones, rather than the 10.7 fucking million shipped off to the New World as slaves and brutally forced to live out their lives as someone else’s property. We are sent films like ’12 Years a Slave’ and think “Gosh, wasn’t the USA just ghastly, as we sip on our tea, toss a fag and spell ‘moisturiser‘ correctly. We watch films and TV shows about the American Civil War and think “Hmmm, yes, I know what that is” as we shove aubergines into our fannies.

Treat me like cattle and you gotta quit

11 Lorde: Virgin

~ Lex Leeson ~ 1 Comment

Today, I’ll go to Canal Street, they’ll piss in my ears

Hammer

Oh, wow, OK, to have such an honest admission on your album’s opening track is quite a statement! It sounds wrong to call ‘Virgin’ sex positive, per se, but it’s definitely Lorde’s most ‘sex aware’ record (counter to its title, I guess), and to ensure that it opens like this definitely warns listeners to leave their kink shaming at the door.

I fear that some of my oversees readers might not get the reference here, so think of this post as a bitesize educational supplement as well as the usual incisive musical journalism. Canal Street is about a kilometre walk away from my house, so I feel a degree of closeness to it to the extent that explaining the history and significance of the reference would actually be something of a pleasure.

If I’d had virginity I would have given that too

12 Kendrick Lamar: GNX

~ Lex Leeson ~ Leave a comment

I did it with integrity and niggas still try hate on me, just wait and see
More blood be spillin’, it’s just paint to me
Dangerously, nothin’ changed with me, still got pain in me
Flip a coin, want the shameless me or the famous me?
How annoying, does it angers me to know the lames can speak
On the origins of the game I breathe? That’s insane to me
It’s important, I deserve it all because it’s mine
Tell me why you think you deserve the greatest of all time, motherfucker

man at the garden

Yeah, could not be arsed with this album last year. It was released on November 22nd, which was already pushing it very tight for the December 1st deadline for inclusion on Necessary Evil 2024. The circumstances and context really made it feel like it was a bit of a rush release to capitalise on all the publicity surrounding the feud with Drake that we’ll likely be telling our grandchildren about.

yeah, I guess we’ll go back to speaking olde time language in the future. And writing in script. I dunno, man, that meme’s all over the place

I also heard how ‘GNX’ was, rather than an expansive and hugely intellectualised dissection of the black male psyche and how that very identity is being exploited by capitalism to be sold back to those very same people – the type of Kendricking that meant ‘Mr Morale & the Big Steppers‘ was very much on-brand – it was a more back to basic, West Coast infused straight hip-hop album, I decided it probably wasn’t really worth the intense study it would require to see if it would make that year’s list. I’ll probably give it couple of spins after Christmas, I thought.

And I did. And holy shit this album’s incredible.

it take some tough skin just to deal with you

13 Lambrini Girls: Who Let the Dogs Out

~ Lex Leeson ~ 1 Comment

The epitome of everything, I’ll tell her how I really feel
She’ll realise that I’m homo for sure
I like your face but not in a gay way
No homo

No Homo

Who! Who who who!!

Heeeeeeeeey, all you Dr. Who fans, that could be a new chant for you! Whenever the new Dr. Who episode about planets having the right to defend themselves (with genocide), or whatever, you could all chant “Who let the dogs out! Dr. Who, who, who, who!”! You can have that. Mind you, I don’t really watch a lot of Dr. Who, but I don’t think dogs feature too heavily in the core plot? Do they still have K9? Is that still a thing? You could maybe try to fit K9 into the song? “Who let Daleks out! Dr. Who, who, who who!”. That kinda works? Listen, it might need a bit of work, but I am officially relinquishing the intellectual property of that chant, so it’s public access now.

You know what mate, you stay the fuck away from me

14 Tyler, The Creator: Don’t Tap the Glass

~ Lex Leeson ~ Leave a comment

Welcome
Number one, body movement (funky)
No sitting still (dance, bro)
Number two, only speak in glory (yeah)
Leave your baggage at home (none of that deep shit)
Number three (nigga), don’t tap the glass
Roked, roked, roked l’Elohim
Roked, roked, roked m’Elohim

Big Poe

It’s Big Poe, motherfuckers!! ‘Big Poe’, obviously, being short for… Big Potential… because the record has such potential…? Big Poacher…? Because Tyler likes to illegally hint game…? Big Pochettino! Of course! Tyler is American, of course, and I’m sure Poch will appreciate the show of confidence ahead of next summer’s World Cup! Fantastic! I hope you cunts lose every game! World Cup 2026 is a vomit inducing sham and your fucking country should be ashamed of itself! Hate you all so much! Have fun!

The day before his sixth album’s July 21st release, Tyler, The Creator was at pains to stress how we shouldn’t expect too much from this shit! It was just an album! There’s no overlying concept, he won’t be wearing funny masks or bright wigs, there’s no unflinching peak into to the psyche of the millennial black experience, it’s just fucking ten banging songs!! From the opening of the album quoted above, Tyler makes it very clear that they’ll be “None of that deep shit”.

Fuck you and your dreams, stop playing with me

15 Perfume Genius: Glory

~ Lex Leeson ~ Leave a comment

It might not quite be as representative of the record’s contents as Ninajirachi, but the cover of ‘Glory’, showing the aftermath of a car crash that has flung Mr Genius through the window of his house and deposited him, broken and disfigured, onto the floor of his own living room. The crash may have just happened, it may have happened hours ago – days, weeks? – but it’s clear that Mr Genius has found himself smashed upon the carpet of his home and decided “No, no, I’m very happy slowly dying here, thank you very much”.

I don’t know is Mr Genius (known as Perfume Hadreas by his friends) has ever suffered a life threatening, completely debilitating injury, but I definitely feel that.

Broken apart and shinin’

𝟸̶𝟼̶ 16 Blondshell: If You Asked for a Picture

~ Lex Leeson ~ 2 Comments

How bad does it have to hurt to count?!
Does it have to hurt at all?!
I’ll come back if you put me down two times!
You try hard to make me yours!
But once you get me I get bored!
I’ll come back if you put me down two times!

Two Times

Aaaah mate, buddy, pal, 朋友, amicus, amiga! You might have dropped a pretty massive 24 places since I was charmed enough to name you the second best album of 2023, but – bah Gahd! – can you still ignite those cursed feels when you feel in the mood??

OK, step back, hold it up now, back it up – beep beep beep – re-rewind, when the crowd say Bo Selecta…

With Craig David all over your BOINK

17 Sharon van Etten: Sharon van Etten & The Attachment Theory

~ Lex Leeson ~ Leave a comment

Yeah, I know a bit of an ‘Alan Sparhawk With Trampled by Turles Situation’ – or ‘ASWTBTS; as we call it in the Journalism Business: I have also seen this record named as the self-titled debit album by Sharon van Etten & The Attachment Theory. At least in this case the album’s title is never just listed as ‘& The Attachment Theory’, so Ms Van Etten isn’t quite up there with Sparhawk when it comes to awkward album titles. However, ‘Sharon van Etten & The Attachment Theory’ is referred to by Wikipedia as “the seventh studio album by American singer-songwriter Sharon Van Etten” and – even more importantly – listed as solely a Sharon van Etten album on Bandcamp, so that’s what we’re going with.

Oh, and you shouldn’t capitalise the ‘Van’ in a name when you’re writing the name in full, only when you’re only writing the surname. So I will continue to call one of the greatest music artists of recent times ‘Sharon van Etten’, and Ms. Van Etten when I’m perhaps being more formal. Yeah, I know that Ms. Van Etten (see?) is American, and those fuckers don’t know how to fucking spell (see entry #26), but the least I can do is try and teach them how to spell their own name, no??

Someone inside me saved me

18 Disiniblud (Rachika Nayar & Nina Keith): Disiniblud

~ Lex Leeson ~ Leave a comment

It’s pronounced Disney-blood!! And look at that little dude on the cover!!! ‘NeverEnding Story‘ coded and I am fucking here for it!!!!

that wink is rather salacious and I’m not sure if I like it

Although – and I hate to be pedantic about this – but as we all know ‘NeverEnding Story’ was actually a Warner Brothers property, so how does that fit into the whole Disiniblud (pronounced Disney-blood!!!!) thing? Actually, I’m not sure, do Disney own Warner Brothers now? I know that everything that has ever existed in any medium is now owned by either Disney or Netflix, so flip a coin I guess.

[as is most (bimbo it out)]

19 FKA Twigs: EUSEXUA Afterglow

~ Lex Leeson ~ 1 Comment

OK, so how am I going to approach this? You know I really hate spoiling my own list, so I’d hate to perhaps let it slip during this post that maybe there’s another FKA Twigs album later on this year’s countdown. Maybe! Nothing in this introductory paragraph should be read as any sort of confirmation!! But you also know what a genuine and straight talking man of the people I am, and it simply wouldn’t be in my nature to lie to my wonderful readers that I love so much, and say that a certain album isn’t going to be featured… Or lie and say that it will feature!! Nothing in this introductory paragraph should be read as any sort of confirmation!!! People are calling me the most trusted voice in music. Everyone’s saying it. Sports Illustrated are saying it. I can’t abuse that trust.

I guess, all things considered, I’m probably better off just not mentioning that other album at all. That hypothetical other album I mean!! Nothing in this second paragraph should be read as any sort of confirmation of the existence of any other album!!!! That probably makes the most sense. I mean, it’s not going to be easy, considering that that hypothetical album is named in the title of this one, but hey, let’s give it a go, aye?

Continue reading “19 FKA Twigs: EUSEXUA Afterglow” →