I’m a walking billboard, bunny
And I make a lot of money
Yeah, I make a lot of money
And that’s on period, honey
It’s all the travels, bunny
And chasing summer’s money
I do not flex, my darling
I’m stating facts, don’t worry
I got God-given cushion
And some God-given pushing
It’s your God-given duty
To appreciate my booty
I, I, I got God-given cushion
And some God-given pushing
It’s your God-given duty
To appreciate my booty
I was going to do a bit of an introduction for the readers with such spiritually impoverished lives as to not be aware of Moonchild Sanelly, but the opening track from ‘Full Moon’ pretty much sums it up. She’s speaks truths and is very successful doing so, and also has a natural talent (her bum) of which it is your God-given duty to appreciate.
Not enough? I can go as far as her preferred diet if you want:
I eat avo scrambled eggs
I eat avo scrambled eggs
I love bagels, I love bread
I eat avo scrambled eggs
When I enter, turning heads
Basics do not breathe my air
All the haffers gotta know
I’m the flyest up in here
Niggas know my kind is rare
Bet that’s why they stop and stare
Try they luck, they do not dare
Fall in love, I do not care
I, I, I’m it, I’m it, I’m it
I’m it, I’m it, I’m it
I’m it, I’m it, I’m it
You’re shit, you’re shit, you’re shit
Face it: She’s it. You’re shit.
Mate, I’d love to pretend that I’ve got my ears to the ground of the Durban poetry and music scene so I can pick up on the freshest sounds coming out of South Africa. I’d love to offer a wink and a suggestive grin when you ask if ZuluMecca or Wandile Mbambeni or Bantu Continua Uhuru Consciousness were going to feature a little later on in the list. But the fact is I was first properly introduced to Sanelisiwe Twisha/Moonchild Sanelly when she featured on the outstanding Big Man with Self Esteem and impressed me enough to be named 13th best song of the year. “Wow”, I thought, “It sounds like Self Esteem is going to take that next album into some really interesting places!!”. Ah well. Still, the Moonchild Sanelly album fucking rips!
Having no knowledge of Sanelly before that song, I assumed it was her guesting on a Self Esteem song. Now I realise that it was Self Esteem trying to keep up with with a Moonchild Sanelly song, because ‘Full Moon’ is essentially twelve tracks of that shit and I am here for it. It’s 80% the most riotous fun that you’d previously swear wasn’t scientifically possible to capture on record. On these tracks, Sanelly’s immense wit and way with words as she generally speaks of shagging and success will blow your mind away while your feet are ignited. Amazingly, the other 20% manages to be sincere ballads concerning quite the life that Sanelly has had – running away from home after her supportive mother died when Sanelly was just 17; homelessness, multiple abortions; pregnancies with shitty men, rapes – that somehow manage to sit alongside the most rampageous party songs you’ve ever heard without inducing whiplash.
I had to go through four abortions—I had to change hospitals so they wouldn’t know my face— and the last one, he made me wash my pants. He used to fuck me on my period, but that night he said, ‘A Zulu man doesn’t wipe blood.’ It was dark in that house I found for us. People were in the lounge, there was no light, and I had to guess where the blood was while I was terminating. It was the last time. This is a song about the sacrifices I made, but it’s also a shout out to him for being lazy because I grew up to be a baddie very fast. I had to fight for myself in general. And I won. So thank you for being a lazy cunt. I left you where I left you and I’m gone.
And the Xhosa Wars?? Fuhgeddaboudit! Not many people fought colonialism for longer than Sanelly’s Xhosas, so fair play for that as well.
USanelisiwe Twisha yibrat.
The users only gave it 61 which, I dunno, seems racist
I completely disagree. Not enough songs about her bum. It’s your God given duty to appreciate her booty.
Necessary Evil 
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