OK, can we first talk about that title? I’ve mostly seen it referred to as being an album called ‘With Trampled by Turtles’ released by your friend and mine Alan Sparhawk. Though I’ve often also seen the album title itself being just called ‘Alan Sparhawk With Trampled by Turtles‘. Which is fine. But which artist released this ‘Alan Sparhawk With Trampled by Turtles‘ album of which you speak? Why, that would be Alan Sparhawk and also Trampled by Turtles
OK, so bear with me here, explain it to me like I’m a four year old child: we’re at the twentieth best album of the year, and you want me to write that it’s Alan Sparhawk and Trumpled by Turtles: ‘Alan Sparhawk With Trampled by Turtles’?? Absolutely not, how much word count do you think they give me for these titles?! Anyway, I like the idea of the very title of the record being that of the supporting artist, it really sells just how central they are to the record’s sound. Trust me, we’re going to have similar issues with the #17 entry #ReaderRetention.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, yeah. That’s the only reason this album isn’t #1. I honestly can’t find any other reason to criticise it.
Last year’s incredible ‘White Roses, My God‘ was Mr Sparhawk’s first recorded music after the death of the other half of the band Low and wife of more than thirty years Mimi Parker. And it was… OK!… not what we were expecting. Sure, towards the end of their career Low became one of the most progressive and digitally experimental ‘guitar’ bands in the world (and were richly rewarded for it by the intelligentsia), but we all knew what type of music Old Sparky would compose in reaction to such a tragic incident, didn’t we?? Give us vultures some sad boi acoustic songs about the crushing inevitability of death, you old cunt!!, we all shouted, Respectfully, of course. For Sparhawk to instead release a bracingly cold and steadfastly stoic electronica album was the kind of refusal to pander to artistic expectations that we really should be used to by now. It was a bit of a masterpiece of art that confronted the listener with the never foreseeable directions grief is likely to pull a person in.
An amazing artistic accomplishment.
But I also kinda want some sad boi acoustic songs about the crushing inevitability of death tho…
Well, here we are. Trampled by Turtles are a Bluegrass band with ten previous albums, four of which have reached number 1 on the Billboard Bluegrass Chart, because apparently that’s a thing. Them and Sparky go way back, and Sparky had a handful of songs that he felt he needed their backing to record. A handful of songs that dated back to when Low still existed; many were newly written songs about how he was attempting to plan to live the rest of his life with the hurt that Mimi’s death had instilled in him forever; and a couple of songs had already appeared on ‘White Rose, My God’ and he now thought they should flourish into life with a full band.
One day. Minimal overdubs. Boom. Here you fucking go. Sad boi acoustic utopia.
I’m underselling it, of course – Alan Sparhawk is, like, a million years old, ain’t nothing ‘boi’ about him – as ‘With Trampled by Turtles’ is quite simply one of the most emotionally affecting and literally overwhelming albums you’re ever likely to here. Listen: I’m a fucking psychopath, I possess little emotions and I am a thousand times more likely to roll my eyes and make a teenage edgelord attempt at a joke when I’m presented with genuine earnestness, rather than ever emotionally engage with something. You know how when I write I’m always avoiding any real sincerity by making annoying jokes or maybe pointing out a wrestling reference? What do you mean, no you don’t know ?? I’m doing it right now!!
Well, I’m like this in real life!! Why do you think I’ve been divorced twice?? Motherfuckers can’t handle my sauce, that’s why.
Yet… On the chorus of Not Broken… when Hollis Sparhawk, the daughter of Alan and Mimi, makes an appearance to sing…
It’s not broken, I’m not angry
It’s not broken, I’m not angry
It’s not broken, I’m not angry
It’s not broken, I’m not angry
…fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck… I am literally dead from a broken heart…
Maybe this is me infantalising Hollis Sparhawk though. The Low song In Metal was written about her and released in 2001, and there are recordings of Hollis dicking about as a baby featured in the track. So she’s, what, early 20s?? Fucking hell, Hollis, you’re old enough to drink, drive and know people who sell drugs now, aren’t there better things you should be doing? You’re older than my past three girlfriends – they weren’t old enough to know better, but you are, pull yourself together for God’s sake.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we’re back 😊.
2024 #28 (+8) (Alan Sparhawk)
The users only gave it 74, the heartless bastards
I… don’t understand that reference…
Necessary Evil 