30 Oklou: choke enough

Right we need to start with some important points:

1. It’s apparently pronounced ‘OK-Lou’. If you struggle to remember this, just imagine that you agreeing with the former Dinosaur Jr frontman that his later work with Sebadoh was actually up there with his best. I have, however, heard Oklou themselves not really give a shit how you pronounce it, because they lack fucking conviction.

2. Their real name is actually Marylou Vanina Mayniel, which, I dunno, sounds a bit like

No?

3. They have a genetic disposition against capitalising letters, and they have ‘(;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)’ tattooed on their wrist because it’s an emoji they’re apparently “obsessed” with “You don’t really know what’s happening for this person. It feels like it gets overwhelmed and I love that. I can relate“.

So… yeah… That’s the sort of Peak Millennialcore we’re dealing with here. They’re also French, which, like, ew, right? That’s a bit unnecessary, isn’t it? No need for that in this day and age. I also found a 2018 interview where they say they moved to London from Paris because “I feel more creative in an environment that I don’t feel super ‘safe’ in – socially, geographically, culturally“. It’s hard to fathom the culture shock they would have experienced as a white English speaking person moving from one European centre of capital to another. Do they even let good looking white women use the same water fountains in London?? It must have been a struggle for them to find other privately educated Europeans in fucking London, I’d imagine they’d be so isolated they’d end up producing something as out there as Los Thuthanaka.

So, yeah, that seven year old quote made in an interview that I read for the first time 10 minutes ago actually means that I hate them!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaah, but ‘choke enough’ makes me love them again.

Such a beautifully constructed and sonically sophisticated debut album. The Vanilla Midget crafts absolutely pristine electronic music, with an obviously ultra keen ear for which music can most effectively burrow into a listeners stomach and best mimic the feeling of a thousand butterflies being birthed. No, honestly, that’s a good feeling, trust me. Try hiking the Amazon Rainforest for a couple of weeks, you’re bound to get all sorts of insects laying eggs in you, and the feeling of them hatching is surprisingly euphoric.

Oklou gave birth to her first child in June. Firstly, again, ew, no need for that in this day and age. Secondly, it surprises me that this happened after the album was released. In fact, I’m not going to work out when the baby was conceived*, but I’m guessing that the vast majority of this record would have been written back when The Vanilla Midget was in full health. Yet so much of the album’s lyrics revolve around a kind of mothering, the idea of passing stuff on, “If I ever cradle my belly“, “My baby is a bird**” etc. Even the general mood of the album sonically is that of a soothing and safely guarding womb, like Oklou is offering sage advice to their unborn. She was winging it this whole time?? Impressive?

(*but it was likely around the 15th September, which suspiciously is the day that someone attempted to assassinate Donald Trump on a Florida golf course. So… Yeah, I get it, I was horny as fuck on that day. It was no September 10th 2025 in terms of raging libido, but it was up there

**the baby’s a bird?? Then who’s the father?? Have you been fucking Scrooge McDuck?? Listen… I get it. That kid’s gonna sort you our for life)

I perhaps don’t love album as much as other Peak Millennialcore Vanilla Midgets. The mood is occasionally too sombre and delicate when it should perhaps be reaching for something more life affirming. And the utterly unremarkable take me by the hand is the worst example of generic 2020s electronic music that some of the album occasionally threatens to fall into. Like, Bladee? I can’t remember why, but I have this core belief that he’s an absolute tool. I’m not going to investigate this belief – because there’s no need to research something that you just know – but I definitely believe that he’s a complete prick.

4. Bladee is a white Swedish guy who raps like he’s been forced to do so in a school play.

OK, covered everything now.

AOTY: 75

Also another 75 from the great unwashed, proving that the critics were really plugged into the Peak Millennialcore Vanilla Midget hive mind.

I wouldn’t go that far…