#16 Magdalena Bay: Imaginal Disk

Too much watching TV
It’s gonna rot you from the inside out
If you wanna reach me
Just leave a message and we’ll work it out

…

If you wanna be clean
You gotta scrub until blood comes out
Get the spots in between
Slip your skin right off and hang it out

Watching TV

It’s another concept album, kids!

I told you, there’s a lot of them this year! Remember a few years ago when you weren’t even sure if you’d ever seen an Archie’s before, and now you can’t fucking move ten metres without seeing another one of the cunts? Well, that’s concept albums on Necessary Evil! Wait, do they have Archie’s in other places other than Manchester? And if they do, are there also a comparable amount of the cunts? Whatever, I will not be censored, I’m not going to lessen my artistic ambitions just to pander to the idiots who live in dumb places.

I do love a good concept album though…

First of all, it was a different time when I said that – December 3rd 2024 – and it’s unfair and arguing in bad faith to attribute morals and standards of the current day to historical actions. Like, sure, we all agree that slavery was a bad thing now, but back in olden times everyone loved it! Ask yourself: if slavery was such a bad thing, why did nobody complain about it for hundreds of years. Check and mate, pal. Also, some of those slavers were parents of children, so don’t you feel awful now? Saying slavery was always bad is tantamount to child abuse, and I’m not gonna stand for people hurting kids. And you need to understand that sexual harassment was universally acknowledged as a compliment until about 2006. Also, some of those rapists were parents of children, so don’t you feel awful now? Complaining about historical sexual assault is tantamount to child abuse, and I’m not gonna stand for people hurting kids.

And I said that I loved a good concept album! When I said that concept albums give me the ick I was referring to crap concept albums! Concept albums with a flimsy premise and vague notions that the artist doesn’t even bother getting in costume for! And if all concept albums gave me the ick, why have there been so many on this list?? I like good concept albums! And ‘Imaginal Disk’ is a motherfucking great concept album.

The album features an actual plot, involving the protagonist True receiving an Imaginal Dick personality upgrade courtesy of The Doctor at the True Blue company, in the hope of being good enough of a person to find love. Yeah, the main character is called ‘True’ and the biotechnology company is confusingly called ‘True Blue‘. And the (supposed) antagonist is a doctor called ‘The Doctor’. Listen, it’s not the objective and scientifically proven 16th best album of the year because of how well it names its characters. True begins to suffer an existential crisis comparing the supposedly perfect new image of themselves when compared to the very human imperfections of their fleshy selves, and resolves that they’re good enough as they are and that love is always there for everyone to find, whatever their imperfections. However – because this narrative has a motherfucking twist! – True then realises that these feelings of self appreciation and belief in their own worth is actually just another part of the Imaginal Disk upgrade! Also, that song is called Feeling DiskInsterted? which is… a pun… and I always like that… True then rebels against the concept of love and togetherness and goes freako mode for a while, before… I think… accepting their imperfections and history…? I’m not altogether sure, and the imprecise ending – didn’t True already accept all of their imperfections only to find it was a part of the programming?? – is probably the weakest part of the album’s story.

However, the greatest thing about the ‘Imaginal Disk’ concept is that the actual plot isn’t that important. It’s merely a crux upon which to hang themes of identity; the complications and the benefits of future technologies; and the question of whether love is really about being the best you can be in order to live up to other people’s standards, or even just an attempt to fill a hole you believe to be within yourself that might not be healed by a relationship. The ‘plot’ of ‘Starface‘ also didn’t matter, but that (far looser) concept managed to get by on the strength of its songs. Lyrically, ‘Starface; is actually quite shallow: the story of an alien coming to Earth, thinking Earthlings are weird, then fucking some of them, is the plot of literally 84% of every sci-fi movie ever made – including the most obvious inspiration ‘Short Circuit‘ – and so doesn’t really merit much deeper consideration.’Imaginal Disk’, however, is ripe for interpretation and individual readings. Have you also felt liberated by the endless possibilities of the world wide web? Is your quest for self-improvement merely in aid of impressing a mate, and that’s what you think will lead to self-acceptance, rather than the improvement itself? Are you scared if what you think is what you want is merely just a result of internet lead peer pressure? Is the neoliberal late stage capitalism championing of the self leading you to isolation? And, yeah, probably some trans stuff in there as well.

Though perhaps the greatest achievement of ‘Imaginal Disk’s concept is its music. Magdalena Bay stay true to their Web 1.0 aesthetic that they perfected on their 2021 debut (the last track of which transitions perfectly into the first track here musically. Which is, I dunno, so cool) and present a brilliant retrofuturistic idea of what people in 1999 would have imagined music sounded like 25 years later. This could be elevator music played in the future scenes of ‘Bicentennial Man’, but the frequent glitches in the Matrix warp and disfigure the songs to exhilarating degrees. Except ‘Bicentennial Man’ was set in 2005. What the fuck, guys? You sat down and thought “Yeah, robot Robert Williamses in six years time? Sounds legit, let’s go”. I fiercely believe that everyone in 1999 believed that all pop music in 25 years would sound like Yacht Rock played by androids. Bot Rock? No, that’s rubbish…

It does, however, occasionally run into issues that I’ve had with albums like St Vincent’s ‘Daddy’s Home’ in 2021 or even ‘Cowboy Carter’ this year: of you’re paying tribute to pretty rubbish music, the better your homage is the worse the album is likely to be. And ‘Imaginal Disk’ has a few songs where the concept of retrofuturistic easy listening is adhered to perfectly… but who wants to hear that? But this is an album where the overall quality isn’t just ranking each song out of ten and then dividing by the track number: even the weaker tracks both contribute to the narrative and the vibe of the world that’s been created. It’s a stunning achievement, and has justifiably promoted Magdalena Bay two or three divisions up in music’s league table.