#39 GloRilla: Ehhthang Ehhthang

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!

Get ’em Glo! First off, let me introduce her: bitch, she’s her. She’s here to tell you bitches now that y’all got her fucked up. Also, I feel it’s important to consider that, according to all available sources, the booty loose but the pussy tight. I’m pleased to hear about the tautness of Glorilla’s vagina, though I hope that she has talked to a doctor about possible vaginismus. That loose anus though, may be a serious issue, and I would seek urgent medical advice in case this rectal prolapse causes fecal incontinence. Don’t ask how I know this.

Listen, bit of a truck driver’s gear shift from the Mumbles, I know, but Necessary Evil is a wide church and all shall be considered. Anyway, it’s just science, y’know? I’m not a music critic, I’m just here to drop facts. If you want some miserably subjective whining about how good that fucking Cindy Lee album is, then there are plenty of options for you. On this blog we deal in cold hard certainties.

So you’ll get a lot of albums like the Mumbles’s: music that challenges the listener and perhaps even makes meaningful contributions to the very artform, music that hits you in the heart and in the genitals, yes, but also in the brain. In fact, the vast majority of this list will be albums like that, as the subjectively best albums more often come from such challenging places. As we get closer to the top, make sure you take all these albums extremely seriously.

But… at the same time, last year’s second best album was an extraordinary Blondshell record that, basically, just paid impeccable homage to early 90s alt-rock. The head wasn’t really involved at all in that decision, but – ah lawd take me now!! – that record hit hard into the heart and the testicles. Sometimes, records just hit the hardest, slap the wettest, bounce the highest, and electrify the loins. Sometimes, records are just an absolute shitload of fun.

‘Ehhthang Ehhthang’ is, depending on who you’re talking to, GloRilla’s second mixtape, or their first one. And they actually released a proper debut album in October last year, but… Nah, ‘Ehhthang Ehhthang’ is where it’s at. Twelve tracks, barely over half an hour, and just wall to wall boisterous, boastful, bangers (apart from the wet RnB of Aite). No wheels are reinvented, this is basically meat and potatoes (and bangers!) trap music that could have possibly been written by AI, but GloRilla is a motherfucking presence. GloRilla’s personality and 大胆子 are big enough to hang a thousand otherwise forgettable mixtapes on. No, there’s nothing here even in the same league as F.N.F. (Let’s Go) – the 5th best song of last year – but if we’re being honest, how many albums ever have a song as good as F.N.F? Like, twenty? In total? But ‘Ehhthang Ehhthang’ is still an absolute riot, that I’ve found myself returning to more often than a lot of albums this year, simply because it promises good, uncomplicated fun. And what, it’s against the law to have fun now?? Seriously, you’re no better than the Nazis.

The Album Title As AI Image:

That’s making me uncomfortable.