OK, own up, the lot of you, when was it all decided that Alvvays were officially ‘A Big Deal’? I loved their previous album ‘Antisocialites’ in 2018, as did everyone who heard it. But, like, ‘everyone who heard it’ was a couple of hundred worldwide, surely? It just never seemed that many people were aware of them, they’re such a minute and delicate little gem, surely more than maybe 72 people listening to their dainty little anthems would cause the band to shatter? Be careful how you handle Alvvays!! They’re fragile!
Yeah, I know that both of their albums have been shortlisted for the Canadian Polaris Music Prize, and that ‘Antisocialite’ won the Juno award for Alternative Album of the Year, which, yes, is a real thing and, yes, is also Canadian. But these are Canadian awards! How many people actually live in Canada? Couple of thousand, maybe? At a push? Their adorable little awards are hardly a good barometer of someone’s wider cultural impact. You know who won that Juno award this year? Mustafa the Poet! Who, yeah, actually sounds pretty awesome now I read about him, but he ain’t headlining no Superbowls, brother!
But, no, despite I swear nobody fucking noticing that they hadn’t released anything – there were no #A4 hashtags trending on Twitter! Well, apart from that huge debate in 2020 over everyone’s favourite paper size. Man, that shit got real toxic real quick, didn’t it? I still maintain that those eight teenagers didn’t need to die over it (but I respect their passion) – their comeback was heralded like it was G’n’f’n’R actually releasing ‘Chinese Democracy‘ in the mid 90s. Suddenly Alvvays’ comeback was the most heralded since… I dunno… Jesus? Except that, unlike that feet washing layabout, Alvvays actually followed through with their comeback. Alvvays 1-0 Jesus of Nazereth, I guess. Through all the excitement and the mass reveal that, actually, everyone has always been the biggest Alvvays fan, I couldn’t help but feel that…
Be careful how you handle Alvvays!! They’re fragile!
And, yes, ‘Blue Rev’ is another lovely collection of superficially carefree but emotionally cutting jangly indie pop songs. No wheels reinvented, but that’s alright, you don’t need to do that, it’s an extremely lovely collection of songs. Just…
Stand back everyone!! They can’t breathe! Alvvays are lovely delicate creatures that could die if exposed to too much oxygen! You have to treat them very carefully!
And, yeah, this album didn’t quite seep into my nervous system like the previous album did. But read that 2018 review, I was definitely… in a place back then, wasn’t I? I wonder what crush I’m talking about? It can’t be the unrequited crush I outlined in last year’s Lava La Rue review (the one that still remains strong to this day, thanks for asking), as I hadn’t even met that person yet. By the way, if you are that person and you’re reading this… it’s not you, fucking get over yourself, yeah?
I think we’re done here?
This is weird, Pitchfork. That album didn’t even make your albums of 2018? That must be a mistake, yeah? Since you’ve been such huge fans for such a long time.
Fuckin’ poseurs, man.